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2006 Hummer H2 SUT

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San Francisco:  Here's what you'd get if a five-star general went on "Pimp My Ride." It's the Hummer H2, a smaller, civilized version of the military machine that chases third-world dictators.

America's automotive culture has its icons. There are drive-in restaurants, old Cadillacís with giant fins, nostalgic stretches of Route 66 and an interstate highway system bigger than any other in the world.

Then there's our modern-day icon: flipping the bird.

While it's not quite in the same category as a burger at Sonic, the middle finger has become about as common today as those Cadillac fins were in the '50s. When you're coming home from work tonight you may see a couple of cars driving aggressively when - boom! - out comes the nuclear finger from one of their windows. It's amazing how these drivers get anywhere considering how much time they spend making gestures at each other.

But what happens when these people get tired of flipping the bird so often? They buy a Hummer, which is a giant middle finger with wheels.

No vehicle screams "I don't give a ----" better than this one. At a time when gas prices have gone through the roof, buying a Hummer shows you've got plenty of money and aren't afraid to spend it just so you can look like

Arnold Schwarzenegger when you drive to dinner at Appleby's.

Plus, it makes granola-eating, sandal-wearing environmentalists go off the handle, which is worth the sticker price all by itself.

As a clear-cut anti-social statement, nothing tops a Hummer. As an actual vehicle, though, the results are mixed.

I spent a week driving a Hummer H2, the $50,000 middle child of the three-vehicle Hummer family, and my impressions are at two extremes.

On one side, it's an awesome off-road vehicle. I had fun driving over curbs and trying to get it airborne out in the country. You get the feeling that it can take you anywhere you want to go, even through concrete walls and over mountains if need be.

On the other hand, it's got an absolutely horrible interior. If Chevy came out with an identical interior in a $12,000 economy car, people would laugh at it for being worse than a Kia. It squeaks and rattles. Nothing fits quite right, and it's made of cheap, hard plastics that wouldn't even be suitable for a G.I. Joe toy on the clearance aisle at Wal-Mart.

The H2 is based on the same platform as a Suburban, which results in a decent ride that can be bumpy and bouncy at times, exactly as you'd expect in a vehicle designed for off-road performance.

Style-wise, the H2 looks remarkably like a Humvee, the military machine that does the dirty work for Uncle Sam. It's much more civilized, though, with a trendy, bling-bling, urban style that ends up looking like a cross between Norman Schwarzkopf and Chamillionaire.

I won't even mention the amount of gas it slurps. If you're thinking about buying one, you probably don't care - and that's fine by me.

The problem is that there are some people who think they ought to dictate what you're allowed to drive. They want to make you drive a Prius and eat nothing but organic lettuce and tofu because everything else will melt the icecaps and result in the untimely deaths of cute little chickens and cows.

So if you disagree with those folks, buy a Hummer. It will save your middle finger a lot of work.

What was tested? The 2006 Hummer H2 SUT with a base price of $53,035. Options: Luxury series ($3,740) Price as tested including a $875 destination charge is $57,650.

Why buy it? It gets a lot of attention and tells everyone around you that you don't care what they think - you're gonna do your own thing. It has amazing off-road performance, too.

Why avoid it? It guzzles gas, itís pricey and it puts you on Greenpeace's "most wanted" list.   By Derek Price © AutoWire.Net - San Francisco

Hummer Home Page

Byline: Syndicated content provided by Tony Leopardo ©AutoWire.Net
Column Name: 
Want to flip off the world? Buy a Hummer
Topic: The 2006 Hummer H2 SUT
Word Count:  731
Photo Caption: The 2006 Hummer H2 SUT
Photo Credits:  Hummer Internet Media
Series #:   2006 - 52
 

Download the Microsoft Word version here:   2006 Hummer

Download the Original Image File here:   2006 Hummer

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Publisher - Editor:   Tony Leopardo
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